Sunday, March 30, 2008

Things i hate

Second post! All this week i kept thinking what to post on blog. had a lot of ideas & just wrote'em in a file so that i could write it all. Though now i wont write what i planned :)

Why DeepThoughtYouAll?
Basically its just a play on 'Deep Throat'. Now whats that? All fellas who follow history & x-rated movies with equal elan wont find it difficult. ;).

Deep Throat was a pseudonym given to a person [whose identity was kept under wraps for quite long time ; it was W Mark Felt, FBI Director] who leaked information about President Nixon's administration's involvement in Watergate scandal. I m sure you are more interested in reading the other reference, you perv!.
More famous use of this term refers to vocal-chord development of a lovely lady called Linda Lovelace. She sought help from a gentleman called Harry Reems. Strange it didnt enter her head before, if you know what I mean ;). Any way, at the end of the movie, we are all greeted with a biblical message of 'Deep Throat You All!'. That's how.

Ya last week i left it at my dislikes. They outnumber my 'likes' like 4 to 1.

So many things piss me off!

Bollywood, IPL, Shakira, Lotus Notes, Waiting for buses, Guys who think wearing a garish, fake Ferrari or Lamborghini or Nike Tshirt with fake shades & faded paints & treating their 160cc bikes like Hayabusa bikes from Dhoom, Dhoom, Abhishek Bachhan, Amitabh Bachhan [yes! sadly! after making a re-entry in 1997, believe me, he has done only 3 roles which fit him perfectly: Black, Sarkar & Virudh, rest all is utter crap. I mean doing things like Sexy Sam or a legshaking, over-affectionate, cheesy grandpa/dad in most of his movies or worse, appearing in every other fuckin adverts really pisses me off. Like what he gonna sell next?? diapers?? Mala-D? That bad it is! Most of his adverts are so cliched now. Not to forget his unnecessary involvements with creepy scoundrel politicians of Uttar Pradesh, Raj Thackeray's favorite holiday spot:)], girls who like K--serials/shahid kapoor/every other cute looking faggo/falguni pathak songs/shaan/"chochweet" expressions/corny jokes/weddings & everything related with it/makeups/teddybears/(last one not applicable in Sudan), poor internet speed, bad english
[i hates it very much;)], people who are not aware of whats going on around/those who dont follow news at all, breaking news of aajtak & its other clone news channels, most of the channels, terribly-biased electronic media, people who keep their dandiya/Saawariya ringtones aloud, overhyped-oversmart-unsophisticated-sloggers like Shahid Afridi, Facebook & its so many fuckin clones & those pesky social networking-sites' invites as if i like my friends so much that i like to gawk at their lardhead faces every time i come on internet, boybands-girlbands, most of the radio-stations which feature a loud, blabbermouth bitches jockeying shittiest of songs; those funky-bhangra-electronica-jive songs that crop up like fuckin weed (not that weed) & poisoning our morning with every fuckin piece -of-shit gossip from bolly-fuckin-wood & all rotten contests with brain-damage-inducing-movietickets as prizes [wait! i NEVER listen to radio but maybe gym people think that could scare away fat cells in our bodies. Talk about boot camp!:| ], girls who think sporting a tee & jeans with a long, snaky plait would make them look cool & guys who will have schoolboy-haircut & wear Guevara t shirt & cargos, Saturdays in office, guys who listen to Slayer/Sabbath & then say that Titanic & songs from Jab We Met & that orgiastic- six-some lolly-gagging series F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is their "faayvrate" just to impress girls nearby::WHAT are you showing off, assmunchs?, kareena kapoor, ALL of kapoor clan, clans & dynasties ruling every fucking where in our country, Nehru-Gandhi Party Unlimited Inc (aka Congress), Times of India, too many hyperlinks on a wikipage, item songs, Rakhi Sawant/Malaika Arora/all other golddigging gals, Oracle JDeveloper, machine coffee(closest one can get to (insertyourfavoriteanimal's)piss),over-zealous family planning ads emphasizing 'it' so much that will make you rather wanna have 'it' out there on streets, too much use of sms lingo: i mean 'wat da fuc is wrng wid dis mofos?', metro-sexuals...

(to be contd.)

Quote for the week: "i wanna get organazized."

Sunday, March 23, 2008

My First Time

My First Time.
Suggestively it might be titled, but its actually my second-time-first-post on blog.

I had started a blog called Nirvana sometime back. Like most of my new 'ventures', it didnt last long.

Hope this one doesnt meet the same fate.

I hope to post something new every sunday. Something includes a new article, few hyper interesting links, a funny one-liner/joke (something that i made or just came across) etc.

Hey Wow! Good there is no 'About Yourself' section. Its getting more & more difficult by the day to write something in it. I am still on a self-exploration journey. :). And even if i make a try, as if that matters!

Okay! Likes:

Cricket (-Crazy): abso-fucking-lutely crazy. I have devoured Cricinfo so much i might add it to my resume as a software i have worked on. Square-cuts, Wrong'uns, Reverse-swinging Yorkers, Michelles, 'Dizzzy' Gilespie, 'FIGJAM' KP, Sachin, The Princes of Kolkata & Trinidad, Wasim & Waqar, Why Steve Waugh's Double at Kingston was Greatest Innings of 90s, BCCI-bashing, Harold Pinter & Mick Jagger's cricket-love & so on. Wait & watch this space if you really care.

Metal (-Head): started with Linkin Park & Limp Bizkit. Axl & Slash, James & Kirk, Ozzy & Tony came next. Changed me forever. Let there Be Rock. Heavy-fucking-'Metchul'.

Eminem is a great artist too! I like his lyrical vigor, the aggression.

Movie (-Buff): The Most Beautiful Art to Express an Idea, an emotion, whatever.
Last Watched 'Snatch'. Like all men [except Karan Johar & likes] I liked Snatch too ;) .
A scene:
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Gemologist: London?
Avi: [Irritated] Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins... LONDON.
Dont expect kind words for Bollywood though. I am their worst fuckin nightmare!

Books (-worm): Shoulda replaced it with reading. Have read the paper i was eating poha on.

Internet(-surfing): Thanks to Tim Berners-Lee, Vint Cerf, Bill Gates, Sabeer Bhatia we have a virtual world out there.

Trivia: www is Hebrew for 666, The Number of the Beast [The One For You & Me;)]

Wordplay: Hope you have got a faint idea already. Love puns, Spoonerisms, Bushisms, Sarcasm, Irony, Satire (okay last three are literary devices rather than just wordplay).

Philosophy : Its kinda fashionable to write it nowadays. But i think therefore i am. Or is it the other way round? Have read some Plato & Nietsche. An amateurish 'crush' set in. Hope something better comes up.

Understanding People: "Psycho-profiling" No, it doesnt mean "Clarice's job at FBI Academy". Decoding, demystifying people is a great art.

Food & Drink: Why most desirable things on earth are fattening or liver-harming?

"Passion" : Again, not that Passion bike. Passion in true sense of word.
Something that made Bill Clinton believe in Surf-Excel Ad "daag acche hai" [stains are good] Trigger my Passion!.

(Next sunday)

Was this a good start on my first time?! Most of the people generally 'mess it up' in their first time. Did I too? Did You too? Ask Bono.

Quote for the week:
"we are born naked, wet & crying. Then things get worse"---Anon.